Sandier Pastures

The MUM is coming next Monday to relieve the hubby’s babysitting chores as he starts working on the 1st of May. We are frantically in need of a bed and a curtain to make the other room more homey. So off we go hunting for a bed and other stuffs. Man, we never run out of activities on my day-off! Gone are the days when I would moan at the thought of not doing anything anything on weekends, at how I will spend weekends after the usual chores, of course we are talking of pre-baby time here, about 10 years ago, haha. So much has changed and much, much is added to the to-do list after P was born.

Thoughts about my mother coming to live with us here in Dubai:

The lack of efficient nursery school with longer times to cater to working moms prompted me to call my mother to ask her to take care of three-year old little girl after she comes home from school at around 12:30 noon. Most of the families here hire maids or the moms stay at home. Since I can’t stay at home as we came here primarily because of my job, there is the option to hire a maid. But how could you totally ask a stranger watch over your daughter while you are out? We can’t hire relatives here in Dubai as maids, at least that’s what the immigration department says. And it is so damn expensive to sponsor a maid. It’s very hard to post an ad to write what you want in a maid: (1) She has to have an experience in childcare, preferably has a child of her own back home — which might mean that there will be times she will get homesick and go back to her homecountry; (2) Must have lots of initiative, especially when emergency cases arise; (3) She must be able to read and write and speak fluent English (I can’t demand they speak in Japanese!!) — she must be educated; (4) She must be clean and tidy at home; (5) Must be trustworthy and honest. With these qualifications, we are not looking at less or non-educated candidates who are just roaming around the streets of Dubai, they should have at least a decent education background — but then people with educational background don’t go looking for maid jobs, you know,  so finding the right person is a hurdle. 

My mom always told me if we needed help, she will just be a flight away, make that a 12-hour flight away (excluding extra time for time difference and changing planes). She is excited at the thought of seeing another country (she has been to Japan a couple of times when we were there). But still, behind that excitement I know there is something else. There is the grandmotherly worry of leaving her other grandchild, my brother’s 1.5 year old son who is in her care, and some other things only mothers would worry at home. My siblings staying in my parent’s house have grown up and could well survive without my mother but still I know that moms will be moms…they will always think of their kids no matter how grown up they become. Then there’s my father who’ll be left behind.

I am happy my mother is expressing eagerness to come here but at the back of my mind, there is that tormenting feeling that I am taking her away from my family back home. Then also the wondering if she’ll not get too lonely as we are without TV and she is used to watching lots of TV especially after she ‘retired’ of babysitting when all six of us led our own lives.