Sandier Pastures

THIRTEEN AMUSING QUOTES ABOUT MARRIAGE

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet. - - May West

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - - Groucho Marx

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - - Groucho Marx

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. - - Mickey Rooney

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. - - Nick Faldo

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - - Rita Rudner

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - - Michel de Montaigne

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - - Rita Rudner

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - - Socrates

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - - W. Somerset Maugham

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - - Jackie Mason

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. - - Will Rogers

I know nothing about sex because I was always married. - - Zsa Zsa Gabor