Sandier Pastures

This week’s theme: Beautiful

A very beautiful bride on her wedding day. And I’m not saying this because she is my sister in-law but because it’s true. Happiness comes from within and she truly glowed on her special day. I am glad I was there to see her.

A husband and wife are travelling in their car from Lands End to John O’Groats. After hours on the road they’re tired and decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and book a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for £350.

The man demands to know why the bill is so steep. He tells the clerk that although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth £350. When the clerk tells him £350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.

The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a conference centre that were available for them to use.

“But we didn’t use them,” the man explains. “Well, they are here, and you could have,” explains the manager.

He goes on to explain they could have visited the Michelin-starred restaurant for which the hotel is famous.

“But we didn’t go to the restaurant,” complains the man again. “Well, you could have,” the manager replies.

No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!”

The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque.

“But sir,” he says, “this cheque is only made out for £100.”

“That’s right,” says the man. “I charged you £250 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the manager.

“Well,” the man replies, “she was here, and you could have.”

I’m definitely growing old as the days I reminisce about my childhood days become more and more frequent. Some of the lessons I learned while growing up:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2. When Mom is angry with Dad, don’t let her brush your hair!

3. Never ask your three year old brother to hold a ripe tomato.

4. Never ask your other 5 year old brother to watch the cake icing.

5. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair, most especially when the scissors are near your ears.

6. Liquid Paper is not a nail polish.

7. Talking to a three year old is like nailing jelly into a wall.

8. Wrinkles don’t hurt.

9. When one of your brothers hit you, don’t hit them back. They always catch the second person.

10. A donut is a very effective bribe for pre-schoolers.

11. Pineapple-scented dishwashing liquid is not juice.

12. It is possible to play tennis and bruise your shoulder blades. I swear up to now, I don’t know how it happened!

13. Families are like fudge…mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Dates of various origins, sizes, tastes and prices lined up at the Dubai Fruit and Vegetable market.

After the longest blogging hiatus ever (the past posts appearing here are automated), I am finally able to login and write a post. I had been busy and very incapable of blogging due to lack of facilities (no laptop!!). Pristine and I went back to the Philippines to attend my brother’s wedding last August 16. After spending 12 days in the Philippines enjoying family time and the rain (I never realized I missed the rain this much since it never rains in Dubai except for a few times in winter), we flew back to Japan last Thursday. I am currently typing this in my in-law’s PC.

The wedding was a big one, something that I wouldn’t be able to handle if I had been the bride! There were about a hundred guests - from the bride’s relatives alone. Then there were the couple’s friends and my BIG family. Everyone in the family is happy for the couple and we like our new in-law very much, she’s been my friend for 10 years and now, she’s part of the family.

On the left is V, the bride and on my other side is A, my younger sister (13 years younger than I am!)

As in the photo, I finally, finally made it to the salon and had a haircut in Japan before flying to the Philippines. There’s not much difference with my usual hair style but the trip to the salon and all the pampering I got was really a pleasure.

One of the best things about going back home is meeting my many siblings. I have 4 brothers and one sister and we get along really well. We could forget eating when we hear each other’s stories and share lots of laughs together.

Except for the guy on the left (he’s the groom’s best friend), all of these guys are family: my father, his 4 sons and one cousin who is like a brother to us

I have yet to upload other photos of the wedding. So many photos, stories waiting to be posted, so little time! For the now, here’s a photo of Pristine and my nephew. They were a part of the wedding entourage as flower girl and ring bearer.

This week’s theme: Wrinkled

This is what happens when the babe cooks up a storm as she sleeps. All we will have are wrinkled bed sheets and blankets for now.

A Polish man moved to the US and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if a divorce could be arranged.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds? - Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? - It made of concrete.

I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge? - No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like? - All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? - We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? - No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger? - No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce? - She going to kill me!

What makes you think that? - I got proof.

What kind of proof? - She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”

From left to right: Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, present President of the United Arab Emirates and ruler of Abu Dhabi, Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan who played a vital role in shaping the UAE as it is today, Sheikh Mohammad bin Rashid Al Maktoum, present Vice-President of the UAE and ruler of Dubai.

This kind of poster/painting is seen at the entrance of almost every building in the country. This was taken at the entrance of Burj Dubai Hotel.

This week’s theme: Colorful

A camel with colorful headdress at Pristine’s school. She (the humped one is a she) looks pretty stylish, I just have no idea if she liked it or not.

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12 year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the cleaner would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the headmistress decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the cleaner. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the cleaner who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the cleaner to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers… and then there are educators.