co-sleeping
By Grace on Feb 20, 2007 in mommy thoughts
Co-sleeping with my own child is the only child rearing style I know in terms of nightime parenting. We had no question about it when Pristine and I got home from the hospital four winters ago. Where co-sleeping is controversial in some countries, it is perfectly normal in Japan and in the Philippines.
At three years old, our daughter is still sleeping with us, sometimes using my arms as her pillows. I do get cramps sometimes but I don’t mind, not at all.
I admit that I enjoy the cuddling. The most love I get from anyone is the simple snuggling with a sweet smelling infant at bedtime. I’m reasonably certain that co-sleeping or sleep-sharing with my daughter will only happen one time and she would seek to transfer to her own room one day. I intend and I decided to enjoy this precious time, while it lasts!
But there are times when I do have the mental back and forth that I always do when faced with the advise from “experts”, including one of my favorite author, Zig Ziglar (Author of Raising positive kids in a negative world). Is it really a problem? Do I actually have the energy for it? Are there bigger things I should actually be attending to?
I have imagined attempting to get my three year old daughter to sleep in another bed, in another room. Although this is still all in my mind, I cringe at the fact that I am probably lazy. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually care waking up in the middle of the night or in the wee hours of the morning to get her to go back to sleep when she has some sort of nightmare. I don’t care singing in the dark to calm her when she’s frantic and insecure. Also, I have to go to work in the morning and I’d rather get my rest. I don’t like to struggle at bedtime and sleep-sharing would mean I don’t have to get up and bump my head in some wall on the way to the other room where my precious sleeps.
While several reasons, mostly (west) cultural says negative info on co-sleeping, in my family it has promoted bonding, more sleep for me and facilitated breastfeeding i.e., increased access to nursing with less disturbance of sleep for both mothers and infants.
Of course, where your child sleeps - whether it’s in your bed or a crib is a personal decision.
Hi Grace, thanks for visiting my blog! This looks like an interesting place.
I’ve heard experts warn agains co-sleeping because 1)you can accidentally roll over the baby and suffocate him/her and 2)the longer you do it, the harder it is for the baby to sleep independently.
I slept with my kids when they were babies, although I never brought them into my own bed. When they would wake for feeding in the middle of the night, I’d just crawl into the bed that was in their bedroom and we’d usually spend the remainder of the night there. I never worried about suffocating anyone, because it seemed that part of me was always awake and aware of where we were. As they got older and stopped needing night feedings, they slept in their own cribs all night. I miss that cuddly bonding, though.
Thanks again for visiting, I will visit back here too. And thanks for the tip about braless haircuts - brilliant!
AbbyNormal | Feb 22, 2007 | Reply
It is such a personal decision, but I think one that has no right or wrong - just what works for each family! I think it’s great you enjoy this as much as you do and get all that snuggle time!
I couldn’t sleep in the same bed with Kayla all night long! She moves to much
On occassion when she hasn’t been feeling well and wakes up in the middle of the night we bring her into our bed, and she just tosses and turns and arms and legs are everywhere!
Michelle | Feb 23, 2007 | Reply
My boys co-sleep. Quintus hardly ever now (he is 6) and there was no sleep training involved. I can’t believe there is such a thing as sleep training. One can’t train a child to sleep. Anyway, Jason still co-sleeps about 30 % of the time and of course Zander is in my bed.
Do what you feel is right for your family
supermom | Feb 24, 2007 | Reply
Abby: yes, like what you said, I am fully aware of baby presence and has not rolled on my daughter and suffocated her! I think unless the sleep-sharing adult is drunk, there’s always a part of them that’s awake. Thank for visiting!
Michelle: I can imagine Kayla with all those arms and legs everywhere! She seems to be a very energetic child, awake and asleep =)
Mel: I don’t believe in sleep training too. How can I manage to sleep well if I know my little one is crying in the dark, in her own room during that training session!?
desertgrace | Feb 24, 2007 | Reply
I know for sure that co-sleeping will bring about interfere with the parents’ own relationship in terms of reducing both communication and sexual intercourse at bedtime.^0^
minsya | Feb 27, 2007 | Reply