Thursday Thirteen #10

2 COWS AND A SYSTEM: 13 VERSIONS

1. DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and  advertise them in all the magazines. You create a ‘Cow City’ or ‘Milk Town’ for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resell the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. Then you bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

~0~0~0~0~

2. QATAR SYSTEM: You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

~0~0~0~0~

3. SAUDI SYSTEM: Since milking the cow involves unmentionable parts of the cow’s body, the Gov’t decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows … the debate is still going on.

~0~0~0~0~

4. BAHRAIN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Some high Gov’t. official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov’t. tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov’t. and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.

~0~0~0~0~

5. LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hezbollah.

~0~0~0~0~

6. EGYPTIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!

~0~0~0~0~

7. AMERICAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

~0~0~0~0~

8. BRITISH SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both are mad.

~0~0~0~0~

9. RUSSIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

~0~0~0~0~

10. CANADIAN SYSTEM:  You have two cows. You are not allowed to sell any milk in Quebec because your cows moo in English.

~0~0~0~0~

11. AFRICAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. In search of better grazing, you cross the border. Customs officers reject your bribe offer as insultingly low and confiscate your cows.

~0~0~0~0~

12. SOUTH KOREAN SYSTEM:You have two cows. The government asserts you have had ten cows and eight of them were taken away by the Japanese invasion to Korea during WW II.

~0~0~0~0~

13. AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. One of the cows gets up earlier because of the daylight saving program of Queensland. She goes to the beach to enjoy barbies(barbeque) with XXXX beer and tells the company manager that she takes a sicky(sick leave) today. In the meantime, another cow gets up, takes a sicky and drives to the stadium in Sydney to enjoy football games with her favorite Tooheys Draught.

** For fun purposes only, not to provoke any unnecessary racial discussion. **

Related posts:

1. ...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.