Thursday Thirteen #10
Posted in Thursday Thirteen on 09/20/2007 12:10 am by Grace
2 COWS AND A SYSTEM: 13 VERSIONS
1. DUBAI SYSTEM: You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all the magazines. You create a ‘Cow City’ or ‘Milk Town’ for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resell the nonexistent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. Then you bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.
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2. QATAR SYSTEM: You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realized that cows could produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
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3. SAUDI SYSTEM: Since milking the cow involves unmentionable parts of the cow’s body, the Gov’t decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows … the debate is still going on.
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4. BAHRAIN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Some high Gov’t. official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The Gov’t. tells you that there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the Gov’t. and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time and so cutting back on unemployment.
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5. LEBANON SYSTEM: You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by Hezbollah.
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6. EGYPTIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!
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7. AMERICAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
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8. BRITISH SYSTEM: You have two cows. Both are mad.
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9. RUSSIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
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10. CANADIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. You are not allowed to sell any milk in Quebec because your cows moo in English.
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11. AFRICAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. In search of better grazing, you cross the border. Customs officers reject your bribe offer as insultingly low and confiscate your cows.
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12. SOUTH KOREAN SYSTEM:You have two cows. The government asserts you have had ten cows and eight of them were taken away by the Japanese invasion to Korea during WW II.
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13. AUSTRALIAN SYSTEM: You have two cows. One of the cows gets up earlier because of the daylight saving program of Queensland. She goes to the beach to enjoy barbies(barbeque) with XXXX beer and tells the company manager that she takes a sicky(sick leave) today. In the meantime, another cow gets up, takes a sicky and drives to the stadium in Sydney to enjoy football games with her favorite Tooheys Draught.
** For fun purposes only, not to provoke any unnecessary racial discussion. **
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September 20th, 2007 at 1:32 am
LOL, this is hilarious! happy tt!
September 20th, 2007 at 2:44 am
… such a funny series and makes you think. Thanks for sharing this (smile)!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:52 am
where’s the Philippine’s version?
September 20th, 2007 at 6:34 am
This was hysterical!! Thanks for the laugh!!
Happy TT!
September 20th, 2007 at 7:49 am
This was fun. Poor cows.
September 20th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Oh, that was fun!
September 20th, 2007 at 10:12 am
LOL … hysterical!
btw, your new theme has a better look!
September 20th, 2007 at 11:57 am
It seem it’s a fun TT.. I will read it later. Just dropping by. I will go to school soon. God bless!
September 20th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
THIS IS THE BEST TT LIST I HAVE EVER READ!!!!!
September 20th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Too funny!
September 20th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
LOL… have fun reading this one… great list.. :twothumbsup:
September 20th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
This is friggin’ hilarious! I am trying to come up with something funny and true about the german system, but that might take a while. You know, germans have no real sense of humor. LOL
By the way, like the new theme, but am missing the bluebird of happiness. :o)
September 20th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
LOL! I’m going to be passing this along to everybody on my mailing list–it’s too much fun not to share.
September 20th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
That’s awesome. I can’t believe you need the disclaimer, though!
September 20th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Does the Canadian cow moo, “Moooo. I’m a cow, eh?”
September 20th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
A great list! I think you have the American situation pegged, for sure!
September 20th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Poor abused cows. lol Happy TT
September 20th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
LOL That was great - those dang British mad cows!! The saudi one made me laugh too- sad - but I laughed. lol
September 20th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
LOLOL! These were AWESOME!!! I especially like #9. Pass the vodka please!
But #3. I’m STILL laughing on that one.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
thanks for the laugh this morning!
smiles, bee
September 20th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
What a hoot….I just came from Canada to visit my daughter so loved the Canadian version. They all made me laugh though.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Oh my too funny and very PIC true
September 20th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I liked the Aussie cows. Very funny stuff!
September 20th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Now, that’s funny. thanks for stopping by my blog
September 20th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
My husband is English. And he’s only a little mad.
September 20th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
7 and 8 made me laugh so hard!!!
September 20th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
This is WAY too funny! I want two cows!
Great Thirteen!
Merrie
September 20th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
I have to go lie down now, this is hurting my brain just reading it.
http://moondancerdrake.livejournal.com
September 20th, 2007 at 7:36 pm
hehehe! Thanks for today’s chuckles!
September 20th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Happy TT
September 21st, 2007 at 1:53 am
Oh, these are good! I think I need to save these.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:17 am
Though our cows are now just plain nutty (like everyones) rather than mad
September 21st, 2007 at 5:03 am
Funny read after a difficult day … thanks for stopping by my simple truths.
September 21st, 2007 at 7:17 am
This was very funny!
September 21st, 2007 at 8:03 am
Hah! This list is awesome.
I loved the American one.
Thanks for dropping by.
September 21st, 2007 at 11:25 am
I love this a lot. Honest. Very, very astute! And funny.
September 21st, 2007 at 3:15 pm
*LOL* I had a great laugh!
Thanks for visiting my Mabon TT.
September 22nd, 2007 at 10:12 am
Given the Dubai System you listed, I’m extremely concerned that Dubai is moving to acquire 19.9 percent of the Nasdaq in New York - Dubai having ownership in the major U.S. stock exchange? Very scary!
Very well done, I’m really impressed with how accurately you portrayed each country’s treatment of their…cows.
October 19th, 2007 at 2:05 am
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